Myself and two other friends are going through very similar experiences that to the outside seem as if it is a hopeless cause. Not all friends fully support or understand us in our calling to wait for our spouses to be restored to the Lord which then leads to marriage restoration.
Sometimes they think we are misunderstanding God or not hearing from God correctly. Sometimes they think it’s us not letting go. Sometimes they think that our spouses don’t deserve us after what has happened and that there is someone better for us.
When facing this type of doubt by other believers, it is frustrating.
It’s frustrating because it is a HUGE step of faith and an act of obedience on our part to really TRUST God in the impossible. We are very confident in conversations, but you have no idea the many conversations we have with God in our head and prayer closets.
“Are you sure God?”
“Am I hearing you right?”
“Why is it taking so long? Are you sure it’s going to happen?”
“I’m tired of waiting.”
“Why is it worse?”
Deep down, we have more than enough doubt that tosses us around from time to time. But to be honest, we have the courage to step out of the boat when Jesus calls us.
The best peace that I experience comes from being focused on Him and this calling. He tells me His truths about the situation and provides scripture and Bible stories to support what he tells me. In those times, it makes perfect sense. In fact it seems crazy not to wait on the Lord to do His thing.
Why would God ask me to do this?
- Realize no man can ever make me happy or complete…only God.
- Seeking out another husband or a “better” one is a lie. My original husband, living his life for the Lord is the best husband for me. Until then…God’s got me.
- Experience completeness in Him, not trying to be completed by him(spouse).
- Learn what crazy faith is.
- Get me focused on how God has to grow and refine me, instead of pleading with God to change my spouse.
- So God can have my full attention
- Show me that I’m not in control of my life. I can’t choose my path or the outcomes. All I can do is be guided daily by Him.
- My favorite…what unconditional love truly is.
- To experience laying down my life for someone else like Jesus did.
- To show me what it feels like to be rejected, even when it was my best and I loved with all my heart. This experience put a better perspective on what Jesus felt as he was rejected on this earth and still is today.
- To realize, this life on earth is not perfect and having a spouses doesn’t make life perfect.
I could go on and on about this growing list.
In a way, this list has become a checklist of milestones. A list that reflects the spiritual maturity that has occurred ONLY because I’m being obedient to the IMPOSSIBLE.
A checklist that as I go down, makes me think I’m closer to the promise. But, God reminds me it doesn’t work like that. Instead this checklist is more like a ladder I’m climbing up that gets me closer to Him.
And for that….this crazy journey is VERY worth it!
To God be the glory,
Erica
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