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Women in His Presence

by Erica Salazar

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crazy faith

Checklists & Ladders

Myself and two other friends are going through very similar experiences that to the outside seem as if it is a hopeless cause.  Not all friends fully support or understand us in our calling to wait for our spouses to be restored to the Lord which then leads to marriage restoration. 

Sometimes they think we are misunderstanding God or not hearing from God correctly.  Sometimes they think it’s us not letting go.  Sometimes they think that our spouses don’t deserve us after what has happened and that there is someone better for us.  

When facing this type of doubt by other believers, it is frustrating.  

It’s frustrating because it is a HUGE step of faith and an act of obedience on our part to really TRUST God in the impossible.  We are very confident in conversations, but you have no idea the many conversations we have with God in our head and prayer closets. 

“Are you sure God?”

“Am I hearing you right?”

“Why is it taking so long? Are you sure it’s going to happen?”

“I’m tired of waiting.”

“Why is it worse?”

Deep down, we have more than enough doubt that tosses us around from time to time.  But to be honest, we have the courage to step out of the boat when Jesus calls us. 

The best peace that I experience comes from being focused on Him and this calling.  He tells me His truths about the situation and provides scripture and Bible stories to support what he tells me. In those times, it makes perfect sense.  In fact it seems crazy not to wait on the Lord to do His thing. 

Why would God ask me to do this?

  1. Realize no man can ever make me happy or complete…only God. 
  2. Seeking out another husband or a “better” one is a lie.  My original husband, living his life for the Lord is the best husband for me.  Until then…God’s got me. 
  3. Experience completeness in Him, not trying to be completed by him(spouse).
  4. Learn what crazy faith is.
  5. Get me focused on how God has to grow and refine me, instead of pleading with God to change my spouse. 
  6. So God can have my full attention
  7. Show me that I’m not in control of my life.  I can’t choose my path or the outcomes. All I can do is be guided daily by Him. 
  8. My favorite…what unconditional love truly is. 
  9. To experience laying down my life for someone else like Jesus did. 
  10. To show me what it feels like to be rejected, even when it was my best and I loved with all my heart.  This experience put a better perspective on what Jesus felt as he was rejected on this earth and still is today. 
  11. To realize, this life on earth is not perfect and having a spouses doesn’t make life perfect.  

I could go on and on about this growing list. 

In a way, this list has become a checklist of milestones.  A list that reflects the spiritual maturity that has occurred ONLY because I’m being obedient to the IMPOSSIBLE.  

A checklist that as I go down, makes me think I’m closer to the promise.  But, God reminds me it doesn’t work like that. Instead this checklist is more like a ladder I’m climbing up that gets me closer to Him. 

And for that….this crazy journey is VERY worth it! 

To God be the glory,

Erica

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A New Level Of Crazy

If you would have asked me two years ago if I was a mature Christian I would have said, “Yes!” But over the past two years God is drawing me into a whole other level.

As it is…..

To the outside, being a follower of Christ is CRAZY.

To the outside, believing that the Bible doesn’t need to change with the times is CRAZY.

To the outside, being conservative is CRAZY.

But, to the outside and inside the church, believing that God has spoken a specific promise about marriage restoration is even CRAZY to many.

In fact it’s even CRAZY to me.

But, God has definitely drawn me to a crossroad where I have to face a couple of crucial questions.

1. What is God’s character?
2 Peter 3:9
9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

1. What does God desire?
Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2. What’s the truth about each person’s creation?
Psalm 139:13
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 51:6
6 Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place. But to I have to believe in the crazy.

3. What is God trying to teach me?
Hebrews 10:36
36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

In order to persevere however, I have to go to a whole other level. In fact it’s a whole other level of CRAZY. It’s the kind of CRAZY that people will laugh at like Noah building the ark. It’s the kind of CRAZY that is impossible like Moses going to ask Pharaoh to let the Israelites go. It’s the kind of CRAZY that is unrealistic like Abraham and Sarah bearing children of their own.

If there is one thing I’ve come to realize though, these acts of obedience and faith in the Old Testament, made the way for the biggest CRAZY thing in the New Testament. The birth of a man named Jesus who sacrificed his life for us and then rose from the dead.

This level of CRAZY really requires me to dig deep in prayer. It requires that I believe in prayer. It requires that I believe my God speaks to me. It requires me to trust His voice. It requires me to be patient. It requires me to look at Him and not the circumstances. It requires me to look at me and learn how I need to change. It requires me to go against any bit of human logic and lean on the wisdom and truth of the LORD. This level is hard. It’s not easy. But, it is maturing me and bringing me closer to Christ. Ultimately, it’s a whole other level of CRAZY that I actually enjoy and brings the most peace. So being CRAZY for Christ is exactly where I want to be.

To God be the Glory,
Erica

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