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Women in His Presence

The Power of IT: Marriage

In my life there have been certain focuses and strongholds that have falsely formed my value and self-worth. Therefore, this series is a sort of testimony on each area before and after coming to Christ.

This IT has definitely been the one I put all my hope in instead of Christ. However, the Power of this IT placed in its proper order allows me walk in obedience to the covenant despite being divorced.

Before Christ:

As a little girl I remember picking white flowers in the backyard pretending that they were my wedding bouquet. As I grew up, I couldn’t wait to get married, love my husband, show him he was special, and have fun together. For the most part, when dating, I was always looking for someone who was marriage material.

The first time I saw my spouse walk into a class in college my mind went, “That’s him. That’s who I’m suppose to marry.” It was like this little checklist in my head of who he was and what he looked like just appeared and the only one who new the list was God. This is going to sound funny, but this was the list: Mexican-American guy (but a “coconut” like me), 5’10, hair on arms (I like fur but not on the back), looks good in a baseball cap, athletic, reserved, disciplined, morning person, hardworking, hardworking, hardworking, parents that are around the same age as mine, comes from a similar family background, believed in God, and had similar values.

Now of course, all of this I didn’t know the first time I saw him, but it’s like I knew it was all there. It wasn’t until a couple of years later that we started dating.

What was going on when I came to Christ.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but entering into the marriage I was already committing a very dangerous sin. I was idolizing my husband and also the institution of marriage.

How did this affect the marriage:
1. It put an unspoken pressure on him that he was perfect and could do no wrong.
2. My self-worth was deeply connected to how my spouse chose to love and treat me.
3. My value rested on whether or not I had a man who loved me.
4. Number #2 & #3 also put an unspoken pressure that he existed to meet all of my emotional needs.

Once I became a follower of Christ, the idolization of my spouse diminished, but not the institution of marriage. Christ alone wasn’t enough for me. I needed my marriage to be healed. I needed my dream to materialize. I needed to feel like enough which was through the status of being a cherished and loved wife.

I did learn how to lean on God and walk through the fire during the storms, but my method of choice in dealing with some major marriage issues made me an enabler and allowed toxic things to become deeply rooted in the foundation of our marriage.

I needed to be willing and ready to shut the door on the enemy instead of allowing him to linger. But I was afraid of losing IT: my spouse and marriage.

How is God working in my life today:

If I could go back just this past year, I would have suggested to myself to separate with a long-term mindset. Under the circumstances, I would need to start functioning independently of my spouse and focus solely on my relationship with God and let God take full control. This would be necessary and would have been better than divorce.

My six month separation followed by filing for divorce in hindsight wasn’t really long enough after eleven years to allow the Holy Spirit to workout and undo the damage done. Not because It couldn’t, but because as humans we are stubborn. Plus, it was a little late in the game for me to make such a strong stance of “enough is enough” and expect the mountain to start moving.

Ultimately, my situation today would not be too different except that maybe we would still have some communication.

It’s hard that I regret making that decision, when I was constantly seeking God, seeking out knowledge, and had pastoral guidance. I know that I had every right to move forward and was always out to only do God’s will. But, being emotionally detached from the relationship now, I have a clearer picture that long-term separation was an option instead of a divorce.

Filing left my spouse even more vulnerable to the devil’s schemes. Sure, he made his decisions and acted in his free-will, but there is a spiritual battle at play and at the root of the divorce.

Conclusion:

Today I still feel called to pray for my spouse and marriage reconciliation. This hasn’t always been easy. First, when I think about the entire situation, I don’t really want to. Second, I know what I’m dealing with and it is quite an impossible situation. It will literally take an act of God and a miracle to resurrect and restore the covenant legally. But if it does, it will be rebuilt on the foundation of God for His glory.

At this point I just have to trust and rest in God’s character determined to do His will.

1. God weighs all sin the same.
2. Therefore, one spouse’s sins are not greater or less than the others.
3. None of us are worthy of God’s love, because we all rejected the death of His son Jesus Christ in our habitual sinful nature before becoming saved.
4. Therefore, there is not another person more or less worthy of my love as a wife then the spouse I married on August 14, 2004.
5. We are called to become Christ like and His love is not withheld because of our sinful behavior. We choose not to accept His love when we continue to sin. Therefore, I will not withhold my love if an opportunity for restoration presents itself.
6. God is in the business of redemption, restoration, and reconciliation.
7. God loves my spouse more than I do and is pursuing him daily.
8. Sin causes a breakdown in a marriage. Who caused that? The devil.
How? Through temptation and deception
Why? To make a mockery of the marriage covenant and prevent us from becoming witnesses
9. God has already defeated the enemy and given me power over the enemy. I just need to activate it and engage in the battle no matter how long it takes.
10. Being single does not make me less valuable or desirable. It allows me to spend more time working for God’s kingdom.
11. A restored marriage makes a greater impact for the kingdom of God.
12. “It takes two to save a marriage: one spouse and God.” https://www.rejoiceministries.org/

Now, what IF I’m wrong and I am misunderstanding God. Well the following things are happening.

1. I’m seeking, searching, learning the power of prayer.
2. I’m learning to exercise my authority over the enemy.
3. I’m focusing on me and the areas that need to be refined and removed: pride, jealousy, competitiveness, lack of discipline in some areas, and food as a source of comfort.
4. I’m learning to find my value in Christ.
5. I’m challenged daily to view things from God’s truth and not what appears to be.
6. I’m learning to be complete outside of a relationship.
7. I’m developing into who God intended me to be. It’s like He is tearing everything down that was shaped by the world and starting to build me back up into what He desired all along.
8. I’m learning patience. Grrrrr 🙂
9. I get to share restoration resources I have found as an option to others who feel the same calling as I do.
10. God is and will always be my unfailing husband.

Am I really losing anything if I’m wrong? No, in fact I’m gaining so much. It’s a win-win situation for me no matter the outcome. My spouse, no matter what path he takes has someone praying for him with specificity that no other person can do because I know the battle he is under and how the enemy attacks him.

Luke 9:23
Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.

1 Corinthians 7:34-35
….An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Proverbs 21:21
Whoever pursues righteousness and love finds life, prosperity and honor.

2 Peter 3:9
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

To God be the Glory

 

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The Power of IT: Abortion

In my life there have been certain focuses and strongholds that have falsely formed my value and self-worth. Therefore, this series is a sort of testimony on each area before and after coming to Christ.

Before Christ:

I remember a distinct memory from Girl Scouts. We were making a clear ball ornament and decorating it with puff paint. I chose to create three babies holding hands. There was a peach, light yellow, and a baby blue one. I wrote across the bottom, “Save the Babies.” I have faint memories of abortion and women’s rights protests on TV which must have been the motivation of me choosing a side. Sometime between the age of 11-13, it just didn’t seem logical to kill a baby inside a woman’s body. Fast forward to my first couple of years in college; I felt the same way.

However, one day I realized I was “late.” After softball practice, I sat in the dorm community restroom taking a pregnancy test while a teammate waited by the sink to hear the results.

Very quickly two pink lines appeared indicating I was pregnant. Panicked, I told her, “I’m pregnant and I can’t have this baby.” Like that, my position changed because it was happening to me.

Many things raced through my mind at once:

1. Why is this happening to me? I’m a “good” girl. (To my false standards)
2. I’m going to lose my softball scholarship.
3. I don’t want to go back home and live in Houston.
4. I don’t want to become a teacher. (I don’t know why this popped in my head because I was an international business major.)
5. I don’t want to be single forever. Who is going to want to marry me if I have a child already? I want to be married. (Keep in mind I was 20, and having a child outside of marriage was uncommon to me.)

I called my boyfriend immediately and told him that I was pregnant, but was having an abortion. I never asked what he thought or for his opinion. It was a done deal. When I told my coach, she said that she knew this was going to happen. However, I was the last person she thought it would happen to.

The day of the abortion I was wearing black jeans and a gray shirt. My boyfriend drove me in my Ford Ranger to Corpus Christi which was 45 minutes away. I cried the entire way up there. I sat there hoping he would ask me to marry him so it would be “ok” in my mind to have the baby. As we sat in the lobby, I cried uncontrollably. Selfishly, adoption wasn’t an option because I knew if I had the baby I wouldn’t let it go. A lady from the abortion clinic told me that if I didn’t stop crying then the doctor wouldn’t perform the abortion. At some point, I gathered myself together and had it. At that time, they didn’t do an ultrasound, so I just convinced myself at six weeks of pregnancy that it was just a blob.

Following the abortion, I just picked up and moved on with life not giving it too much thought unless I was getting into a serious relationship. That information was always difficult to break and always received with some hesitation and disappointment.

What was going on in my life when I came to Christ:

Again, I was married during this time, but not in a hurry to have kids. I wanted everything to be perfect in my career, our finances, and our quality time. As I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord in Savior, I began to read the Bible and that’s when I was convicted again of what I had done.

I remember reading Jeremiah 29:11 and realizing that everything would have been ok had I had the baby. I also realized had I read the Bible, then I wouldn’t have made that mistake. Fear wouldn’t have dictated my decision. Instead, God’s truth would have and I could have rested and held onto that comfort.

I didn’t know it at the time, but later I struggled with infertility. Many times I would hear testimonies from women who also had abortions and their emotional struggles and scars. However, their testimony always ended with, “But God blessed me with kids.” My story wasn’t having that result and I started to wonder if God loved me less.

My Life Now as a Follower of Christ:

Although I am forgiven, I still struggle with that decision. However, there were three things I was trying to avoid that happened anyway.

1. Living in Houston.
2. Being single
3. Being a teacher
(I happen to actually really love teaching.)

Going through a divorce, one thing that also sticks out is that I would have never met my spouse had I not gotten an abortion. That decision ended up being course altering.

Conclusion:

The truth is, an abortion was a way for me to control my consequences not my body. I exercised my bodily rights/freedoms when I engaged in intercourse. It was a false sense of control much like the deception Eve fell for.

Psalm 139:13 NIV
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:15 NLT
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

To God be the Glory

 

 

The Power of IT: SEX

In my life there have been certain focuses and strongholds that have falsely formed my value and self-worth. Therefore, this series is a sort of testimony on each area before and after coming to Christ.

Before Christ:

I think of all of the human components that have been a part of my life, this has been the most detrimental, although I didn’t realize it until after coming to Christ and going through a divorce.

I remember at a very young age being exposed to pornography or pornographic images (unintentionally I believe and not by my parents).

I remember pulling up my socks high in the back of the daycare bus at the age of 5 because I wanted to be sexy like the girl in the Legs video by ZZ Top. I remember after seeing a Playboy at a slumber party at the age of 6 wanting to be that girl when I grew up and being upset when the city of Corpus Christi wanted to take down the huge bigger than life stripper cutout that towered above the strip club by the freeway. There are several other memories, but what is sad is that these are just some of earliest ones. I hadn’t even made it out of first grade.

Luckily, I had lovingly strict parents, so although this seed was planted at a young age it really couldn’t blossom into action beyond the occasional late night sneaking around trying to catch a glimpse of something on TV with my hand strategically on the remote (or knob) in case my parents woke up and some other boundaries I should not have crossed.

When I got into college, I was really naive and planning on waiting until marriage. Unfortunately, I put myself in a situation and around the wrong type of person and lost IT. I remember crying afterwards and feeling so devalued and ruined and the guy had the nerve to ask me, “Why are you crying?”

I turned on God that day.

From that point on, it was ok as long as I was in a long term relationship. As a marketing major my motto was, “sex sells.” As the president of my college’s American Marketing Association chapter, I hosted a best chest (shirts on for females) contest as a fundraiser. My dancing at clubs definitely didn’t Glorify God and I would say I finally relinquished that playlist from the not so glory days about 3-4 years ago.

What was going on in my life when I received Jesus Christ:

When I received Christ I was married, but carrying this warped image of sex to the point that a lot of my value was tied into it. I would fall for the lies/tricks that the magazines such as Cosmopolitan promoted to supposedly make me irresistible and make the marriage fool proof. Satan knew this, and knew exactly how to destroy the marriage and my self-worth. But, around the third year of marriage I found Christ. My relationship with Him, put me on a trajectory that continues today in discovering that there is only one foundation that sustains a marriage and my value cannot be based off of being enough or not enough for my spouse.

My life now as a follower of Christ:

After being divorced this year and single, I knew that SEX was going to be one of the litmus tests that would show if I’m really a follower of Christ. At first, realizing this after filing for divorce was a double gulp.

But, being in a relationship with Jesus Christ and being able to see in hindsight the damage premarital sex had on me before and after marriage, I saw the truth about SEX and any form of the “everything but sex” category.

1. Anything outside of marriage or the marriage covenant is a cheapened form of the beauty it is intended to be.

2. Sex before marriage or outside the marriage covenant focuses on the flesh: pleasure, performance, ego, control, and lust. In its proper Godly relationship, it is about communion, oneness, unity, and peace. These things bring a deeper pleasure beyond the flesh, because it was not driven by romance as an exchange of “being in love.”

3. Sex before marriage cheapened me and lowered my self esteem when the relationship ended. Was I not good enough to keep him?

4. Those experiences prior to marriage mentally filter their way in, do not prepare you for marriage, or make you better in the bedroom for your spouse. In fact you compare even when you don’t want to. It’s a sort of rolodex of memories that interferes. This includes pornography.

Conclusion:
I’m a sinner saved by grace, but still have to rely on God to keep me protected and pure in this area. Although I have never been addicted to pornography, I know it’s the area that can take me down if I even start to entertain it. I have to guard my eyes from things on the internet and TV. I’ve actually become quite sensitive to things because I’ve gone without TV for over a year. I have had to repent when my finger scrolled back up or slowed down to get a longer glimpse of something that I saw on Facebook that I shouldn’t have. I have also had to unfollow some people due to the images or videos they post that I know can be a stumbling block to me.

Why?

Because it does not glorify God in THAT context and in the end is short term, a quick fix, and an empty void in the long term.

It also devalues me and devalues women. It also communicates to men that our purpose is to be looked at, lusted after, and purely for pleasure first.

God created women (and men) in his image. So to be viewed through the lens of lust is a defilement. Instead we should be viewed through the lens of dignity which respects, lifts up, and protects.

Galatians 5:19-21

The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

To God Be the Glory

 

Just Me

In early June of 2016, I had filed for divorce. It was my worst nightmare and a decision I had put off for many years in hopes that God was going to do a needed miracle in order for me to remain. Unfortunately, I had to let go of my dreams and my husband who I dearly loved.

I cannot begin to explain the loneliness I felt during the separation, the frustration of the “mountain” not moving, and the desperation for God to fix it. Emotionally and mentally, the entire scenario and the process afterwards proved to be a hurt that challenged my worth and value as a woman and as a Christian. Many situations would bring me to tears and a breakdown. Sometimes alone in my apartment and sometimes in the arms of my mom, but always in the presence of God.

Today, I am so thankful that God is my anchor. He has healed me mentally and emotionally in so many ways that I find it quite unbelievable. There is no bitterness or hate. By all worldly standards, there should be. I should hate all men. I should hate marriage and I’m sure the enemy would have loved it if I turned on God.

But no! God during this process has revealed himself so brilliantly. His covenant with me remains. He has blessed me abundantly and has proved His Word to be true. He has truly positioned me to be exactly where I am today and is bringing me into deeper relation with Him.

How?

1. He has shown me to have Agape love towards someone who has hurt me.
2. He has shown me how to be a concrete image of Jesus Christ’s love no matter what sin has been done against me because it has first been done against Him.
3. He is redirecting me to find my value in Him and not man.
4. He is challenging me to believe that His promises are for me too.
5. He is asking me to trust him and have faith.
6. He is calling me to intercessory prayer and stand in the gap, so that I can believe that prayer works.
7. He is asking me to believe in the impossible miracle that will show His Glory even if it’s just me believing in it.

8.  He is showing me what it means to take up my cross if I am going to follow Him.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

To God Be the Glory

Season of Snails

I remember as a little girl finding little snail shells stuck to my house. Sometimes they would be empty shells and other times the shells were still being occupied.

When that was the case, I would pick up a snail and put it on my hand and watch it slowly maneuver around and upside down without falling and leaving a funny trail of film.

I loved it and I can say that as an adult finding a snail still doesn’t get old.

The past year seems to be the season of snails. They cross my path at odd times and in a variety of sizes reminding me to be patient of the slowness of things.

As a little girl I was so engaged with the slowness of the snail, yet as an adult I am impatient with the hand of God to change a circumstance.

And then, he tells me to hold up and whispers:

“You’re the snail. I’m watching you with complete engagement. I’m watching how you maneuver around and with my guiding hand. I patiently wait for you to work on areas that need purging and areas that need moving.”

2 Peter 3:9 (NIV)
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

To God be the Glory

IMG_2635.JPG

Happy Infertile Day

I actually wrote this last year on Mother’s Day while in the midst determining whether or not I would be able to continue in my marriage.

Looking out a year later, infertility in my situation was a huge blessing in disguise.  God knew everything I didn’t know the entire time and knew he would have to move me out of my marriage.  So, looking back now knowing the big picture this was an interesting reminder of God’s will for my life even if it wasn’t mine.

Mother’s Day 2016

To those of you who are infertile, I know this is a tough day. Although we have mothers of our own to be grateful for, today seems to magnify our bodies inability or the unexplained mystery to bear fruit.

As a woman, today makes us feel like we are not woman enough. It is often a a pain we keep silent inside. Sometimes others ignore it either because they are afraid to ask, or because of its inconvenience to them, or sometimes both. Sometimes this leads to exclusion and you watch from the outside the friendships that are made amongst women with kids.

You’re different.

No one knows what to do with us and the issue is skirted around as we try to mask our pain.

But on today, when motherhood is highlighted, infertility is magnified for us who go through it.

Shelby from Steel Magnolias says it best, ” I would rather have thirty minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special.”

There are always a lot of questions you struggle with….IVF?No IVF? Adoption? No adoption? Miracle?No miracle?

Approaching forty, I can see how God was somehow protecting me. But, it still doesn’t make it easy.

I was blessed today by a message from a friend who wanted to let me know that I am a mother in a spiritual way to others. I needed to hear that. God had been telling me that too and emphasizing my relationship with Him will allow me to give Godly guidance to those who may come to me now or in the future.

That is where the blessing is. No matter what we go through, we get to have a relationship with Jesus Christ and in having this struggle we have been able to grow deeper in Him.

Let’s pray that we may be of influence to those in search of guidance and let us direct them to God.

Being FOCUSED Brings SURPRISES

Saturday was a beautiful day.
Moving from a much smaller town in Texas to Houston, I had been getting a little homesick in my heart lately. I was missing my house. I was missing the trail to the creek. I was missing “my” creek and I had been missing the birds that I use to see all of the time: kiskadee, green jay, and the belted kingfisher to name a few.

Birding was a hobby I dabbled in while living in Kingsville, Texas. However, there was one bird I was always searching for and could never find that was present. It was a bird I should have seen in my 12 years of living there being a birder, but oddly enough I never did.

The one exception was the dead one I found at work right before I moved. That wasn’t the most uplifting moment and I felt it symbolized my dead marriage and that chapter in my life. A beautiful covenant dead. I never got to experience it the way God intended.

Yesterday, while at a church day retreat in La Grange. I set out with another church member to go birding to focus on God’s beautiful creation. As we entered a more dense area off the path, there were a lot of birds calling. I saw one land low on a branch ahead. With my bare eyes, I could see a reddish color on the breast. I first thought that maybe it was a robin, but it seemed too small. As I lifted my binoculars, it looked dark but had a yellow section close to the back of its neck. Immediately, I realized that this was a different bird and the rolodex of bird markings ran through my mind as I tried to figure it out getting my binoculars into better focus.

As I got into focus, it turned around parallel to me and I saw it. The red, blue, green, and yellow.

It was THE PAINTED BUNTING.

For twelve years I had waited to see this bird. I would think, “What a shame to leave Kingsville and never see it.” I had longed to mark it off my list and here it was…..but not where I was expecting.

*I wasn’t even looking for it.
*I didn’t realize I could see it here.
*It hadn’t even crossed my mind to look for it when setting out.

God was speaking to me in that moment and was reminding me to stay FOCUSED on HIM and he will bring what I’m searching for, looking for, working towards, and longing for.

He will present it to me.
Again.
He will present it to me.

There is no need to seek it out.

Scripture
Matthew 6:33 NIV
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Psalm 16:11 NIV                                            You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Prayer

Dear God,                                                    What a blessing to be in communication with you. Thank you for the conversation and the surprises. You truly are the God of everlasting love. Thank you for calling me to refocus my eyes and attention on you

To God be the Glory

Battling the Serpant

Every time I see a snake I want to pick it up. I tell myself that it probably isn’t poisonous by the shape of its head. But, I talk myself out of it just in case.

I think the fact that it could be deadly and dangerous lures me to want to grab it, conquer it, and prove that I’m not afraid of it. But, if it is a dangerous snake and I try to conquer it, I will actually be succumbed by my stupidity.

Wisdom is actually what proves victory. Wisdom conquers. Wisdom doesn’t have to prove anything. It just knows.

The past two weeks I have been wrestling with a sin of the heart. A small serpent that seems to be growing by the day. I don’t like it. I plead for God to remove it. Eradicate it. Yet, when the opportunity comes for me to grab at it as if in my power alone I can handle it, it chokes my heart. It entangles my mind and it causes me to respond in the flesh without prayer and without the best interest of another. Why? Because I’m feeding it with a selfish, bitter, prideful, competitive root in my heart.

How terribly I’m failing.

I can see a pattern though to what triggers this battle. So what is the Lord wanting to teach me?
1. How to respond in a different way.
2. How to respond Jesus’ way.
3. Stay quiet.
4. Focus on the mission.
5. Fix your eyes on Jesus.
6. Be Rebekah…Draw water from only my well.
7. I needed your heart to be softened some more so I can plow up the bitter roots. It’s time to really deal with this.
8. To make you so desperate to be rid of it that you will draw closer than you have before.

Proverbs 16:18
Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Dear God,

I don’t want to stumble because of pride. I don’t want to bring destruction upon me. Help me humble and lean into you. Mold me and refine me into a Christ like image.

Are You Empty?

This week while on the tollway, I heard a familiar yet rarely heard sound. It was a certain ring that politely alarmed me that something was wrong. Since I have heard it only one other time in my vehicle, my mind and eyes wondered, “What is that?”

Then of course it clicks.
I look down and see my gas tank warning.
Empty.

This alerted me not only that I was empty, but with perfect timing that I had just passed the nearest exit. Eventually, I was able to depart, but onto bumper to bumper traffic on the feter and the location of the nearest gas station unknown.

Once I pulled into a gas station, I began the search for my wallet. Of course, I found that I had left the wallet at home.

I was too far from home to risk driving back and I had no money.

What is a single girl to do?

Luckily, I could call mom and dad to save the day and use the wait time to read the Bible.

I tell this because it is a very relatable situation. However, in our day to day routine we can be so distracted that we start running on empty spiritually. Because God loves us, he gives us a warning sound, light, sign, or whatever when we are driving through life away from Him.

It is very important that we take heed to the warning and pull off, slow down, and stop. It is also important that we refuel. How do we do that? By opening up the Bible. That is where the Father is waiting for you to call on Him to save the day. Notice though, I said for YOU to call on Him.

I didn’t say read a book that a Christian author wrote after he/she called on Him.

I didn’t say, listen to your favorite pastor online or podcast after he called on God.

I also didn’t say for you to phone a friend and ask them to call on Him on your behalf.

None of the above things are bad. In fact I do all three. BUT, they cannot be your primary source of spiritual fuel. They are secondary sources.

Why depend on someone else when you can get it first hand?

You need to get it first hand because God wants to have a conversation with you directly. He has specific information for you. He longs to hear you submit your prayer requests to Him. His love for you is what refuels you authentically and intimately. He longs to come to your rescue when you are empty and weary.

Go beyond believing in God.

Open your Bible and be One with God. You will feel complete, refueled, ready and equipped to drive forward.

Dear God,

Thank you for your patience and your continual wooing of our hearts. We all fall short of going to you first for our source of fuel and satisfaction. Let us continually be aware of what steals our intimacy with you. I say no to counterfeits and yes to your authentic love, protection, and security. You are my hero.

2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,

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