Post 3: July 9, 2018
This week started a little different right off the bat. Praying more definitely caused a tapping into my emotions that I’ve tried to cover. In the middle of the day, I went to my prayer room and just started crying. I didn’t have words to say just a grieving heart that needed to be comforted by the Lord. This weeping reminded me of my early prayers when mountains weren’t moving. I would cry and weep and I started to wonder that back then maybe instead of weeping, I should have had the hunger to be a warrior. At some point that day after I stopped crying, I started searching for prayer warrior videos.
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7:7
Ironically, I saw a video called “Weepers and Warriors.” It was by a woman called Vesta Mangun. I had never heard of Vesta Mangun, but you could tell even before listening that this was a tiny yet mighty woman of God with a lot of experience with the Lord under her belt. I thought for sure this woman was going to tell me to stop weeping and start warring. However, it wasn’t until three days later that I actually listened to that video.
It was on the third day, that I started praying not knowing what to say. So, I went to the Word to listen. Psalm 33 led me to write down God’s truths, but personalize them. The Lord was also prompting me to fast and repeatedly pointing me to that direction with several confirmations.
When I listened to Vesta’s “Weepers and Warriors,” I was encouraged to fast. But most important, I was encouraged to weep. This was not what I was expecting. But she made known that every drop of my tears has going into a bucket and to continue to weep until you get to experience the water.
Those who go out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with them.
It was around this day that I confirmed to God that I want Him like Vesta has Him. I want to know the Lord so intimately that I experience what she is experiencing. I don’t want to have a good relationship with my Lord, but the best. I don’t want it just to get my prayers answered. I want it, because I desire the Lord and to experience his love and mighty will for my life first hand.
I don’t want a second hand, past down relationship with Jesus Christ. I want front row, first hand knowledge, and personal experiences. I want to testify to God’s goodness and greatness and not just tune into to someone else on YouTube declaring it. If they can have it, so can I.
God pursues me and you, but our level of engagement creates the opportunity for the best arrangement to experience it. If we don’t engage we miss all that was arranged by God.