My dogs Watson and Savannah love playing fetch, running off of the leash, and swimming. Today was one of those days they were able to do all three.
I took them to one of my favorite spots that has a pond that is nestled just enough away from the encroaching new subdivision.
When play time with me was over, I sat myself up against a tree, leaned back and closed my eyes. Now this transition into quite time wasn’t necessarily smooth. My dogs approached me expecting me to still play fetch. I had to repeatedly tell them no until they got the hint.
Today in particular, Watson scampered off to dip into the pond and run around while Savannah dropped her ball beside me and took a few steps back and waited.
Savannah has always been obsessed with playing fetch. She will just stare at the ball intently while she waits. If I don’t get it, she picks it back up and tries again. She repeats this until she realizes that it “ain’t gonna happen.” At that point she takes her ball and leaves.
Today was different though. She didn’t leave me.
Instead, she let the ball stay and positioned herself at my feet and relaxed and stopped focusing on the ball.
I can’t explain the joy I felt to have her just want to be near me. It caused me to actually pay more attention to her.
I then realized this is how God feels.
We tend to want to be in His Presence when we have a prayer request. We drop the prayer and wait. When it’s not answered we pick it up and go about our business and then give it back the next day in prayer. How many times are we in His presence wanting something: a sign, answered prayer, encouraging word.
Those aren’t bad things to do or want, but do we ever just want Him?
Is HE really enough for you?
Or is he only enough because you know He can provide, bless, and answer prayers?
If he couldn’t do those things, would you still want a relationship with Him?
You see, God doesn’t need anything from us.
He doesn’t want a relationship with us so he can get something from us. And yet he still wants to be with us.
He doesn’t love us, based on our actions or displays of affections.
It’s about company and companionship. The feeling of joy, peace, and love that exists because we are near each other.
As I write this, he is speaking to me. The walk over to the pond, I was sharing with Him a bit of sadness. Last night I may have experienced some premenopausal symptoms: night sweats.
This saddened me, and I went into strategy mode. “Maybe I could get some of my eggs frozen,” I thought. Then I started thinking about God’s promises he gave me, and scriptures that confirmed I would have kids from me, and now it seems IMPOSSIBLE.
Forty, divorced, and being called by God to stand and wait for marriage restoration makes it all more disheartening.
But…..at the end of the day, God is enough for me so I just can’t focus on those things anymore. I just have to let go, relax, and sit at his feet.
One night crying I asked God, ” Why didn’t you save my marriage before divorce?”
He answered back, “Aren’t I enough?”
Luke 10:38-42 NASB
Martha and Mary
38 Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who was seated at the Lord’s feet, listening to His word.40 But Martha was distracted with [q]all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.”41 But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 42 but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”
To God be the Glory