Not What I Pictured

 

In 2011, I took a similar picture on this porch with my husband.  We were celebrating our first Thanksgiving in our new house.  It was almost a dream come true. It was almost what I had always pictured.  I thought the goal in life was to be happily married, have good jobs, and buy a nice house.  The only thing missing from this picture were the kids we never had. However, beyond the image, what was hidden inside was real life.  A real struggle and spiritual battle that had existed almost since the beginning.  And, why wouldn’t it.  The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Marriage is his #1 target.

So today, Thanksgiving 2016, I take a picture that isn’t…. what I pictured.  What sits behind me is an empty home with various types of memories and a dying dream.   It appears that the enemy is winning and tearing apart what should never be torn apart and Biblically never will.  However, beyond this image, what is hidden inside is real faith.  Faith that I couldn’t have dreamed of having without this trial.  Mainly, because  the forgiveness that is now in my heart  is authentic.  Mainly, because more than ever have I grasped the importance of being a praying wife and cherish my remaining days as my husband’s wife to do just that.  Mainly, because the story of the Prodigal Son that I hated so dearly in the Bible (since I’ve always empathized with the older brother), has now become my favorite because I now have the heart of the father.

This is not what I pictured my future would be, but I also would have never pictured this new level of conviction I have moving forward to stand for God’s truth and truly believe He can conquer all. This isn’t what I had pictured, but I know this picture rests in God’s hands.

To God Be the Glory

Ezekiel 11:19 NIV

I will give them an undivided heart and put a new spirit in them; I will remove from them their heart of stone an give them a heart of flesh.

2 thoughts on “Not What I Pictured

  1. Lupita Salazar Week

    Thank you for sharing your heart Erica. I look forward to prayer with you and His guidance in your writings.

    I too have been through the trials that come with a separation and then the divorce. So painful, but I can look back and see how I was being shaped like Clay. His work had started long ago… I know God’s plan for me is still being revealed.
    I never pictured myself here at home in S Texas! I had verbally challenged Him long ago, this was not my home. Today the picture of me back home after 20 years away is filled with love- my parents, my family led by this lovely man two beautiful daughters and amazing in-laws, and the most inspiring Sisters in Christ I could ever imagined! I am blessed that you are amoung this amazing circle!!!!! Abrazos-Lupita

    Like

  2. cultivatingalegacy

    I LOVE this! Your story sounds so close to mine! My life is not what i pictured it to be either but God has taken me to levels that i never thought possible. The trust and faith i have gained in all the trails made every one of them worth it! bless you and thank you for sharing!

    Like

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